Step 1.
Think of a place that you've always wanted to go but have never been. Go to that place. When there, try to pay as close attention to your surroundings as possible; listen very closely, look very closely, touch, smell, taste, etc... (depending on the amount of time you have) spend as much time there as you can.
Once we got back from the place, we were given a note book and pen/pencil. We were asked to close our eyes and retrace our steps by playing the experience back in our minds. Then we were asked to think about the place that had the most energy and write down our response to these questions:
Q. What were you most attracted to?
A. The abandoned buildings. They are incredible! I found a whole slew of materials and spaces to work in/from. I wish I would have explored them earlier.
Q. What was most interesting?
A. The relationship between the buildings and the foliage. It's as if they are intertwined. The buildings are deteriorating and the foliage is breaking it's way through the brick, asphalt, rubble, windows, stairs, doors, etc... In some sections the relationship between foliage and building is very charged; as if they are dancing with one another. (cheesy I know)
Q. What was most surprising?
A. The buildings appear so intimidating. I've always wanted to explore them but they are a tid bit creepy. I was surprised to find that they weren't as intimidating, up close, as I thought they would be. In fact, they are super fascinating. There is so much history, so much character, so much random shit in and around those buildings. One thing I found really interesting was that there were rooms that had huge mounds of shredded paper; that's it... shredded paper. weird shit. I could literally spend hours and hours exploring these buildings... too bad they make me feel a little uneasy. They're less intimidating but they're still intimidating.
Q.What did you resist?
A. Going into the Building
Q. What did you overlook?
A. Lots
After we wrote our questions down. Marilyn asked us to think about this place that had the most energy and go back to it. She asked us to stay there and wait; not allowed to leave the place until something happens that changes you. once the change happened we had to answer the following questions:
Q. What happened?
A. I walked into the abandoned building (with a respirator). I was fucking scared; to the point that I was shaking pretty violently. I was scared because of 1)Asbestos 2)scared a person could be in the building that could hurt me 3)scared I would get arrested for going into the building 4)scared of life in the building (building alive?)found all sorts of stuff 5)scared the ceiling would fall on me or the floor would cave in and I would fall (it's a pretty damn old building).
Q. How did you know it happened?
A. Because I saw it with my eyes, felt it with my hands and feet, heard it with my ears, smelled it with my nose, etc... discovered secrets? at least it felt that way. This place is a place with a sad history. It feels that way. I have proof that it happened.
Q. Was it possible to wait and be open to it or did you make it happen?
A. I kinda had to make myself make it happen on account of I was scared.
Q. How do you understand to what it is that you're able to be open?
A. It is effortless, or I've been given permission.
Q. What does that reveal about you?
A. I need permission to be open or perhaps a little coaxing; a nudge if you will. On the other hand there are things I am open to without permission because they are effortless. I don't think about it. It just happens. & Safety... I'm open if I feel safe.
After we answered these questions, Marilyn asked us to return to this place with a gift. The gift can be whatever you want... kind of a way of thanks for the "change" that was received from this place. questions followed:
Q. Describe what you gave.
A. I decided that I would return the proof that I collected from the building (files and a porcelain piece of a drinking fountain) because I felt uneasy about keeping it. I decided to wash the porcelain piece and return it. Then I gathered, what I considered to be, compelling foliage from all corners of the buildings exterior. I gathered my gift and nestled it into a spot where the wall has crumbled to exposed brick.
Q. How do you feel about your gift? was it sufficient and appropriate?
A. I wish I could have worked on it a bit longer. It's sufficient for the amount of time that I had.
Q. How was it received?
A. I'm not sure. There is so much sadness... not sure if it was as well received as I would have liked... still feel a bit uneasy.
Q. What do you think your gift would reveal to others?
A. Not quite sure at this point. I like to bring the positive to the negative?
Followed with a conversation about how we create our own experiences. Our beliefs are projected onto our experiences. What does this say about you? You create your day. (super simplified... I'm not coming that close to describing Marilyn's genius)
I will say that you learn a lot about yourself from this exercise. It's amazing to think about how significant one choice or decision can be.
Questions to think about after the exercise:
Q. How do you think about your actions in the world?
Q. What are your obligations to yourself?
Q. What are your obligations to others?
Q. What are you afraid of happening in or to your work?
Q. What will you not allow in your work?
Q. How do you measure success. How do you know what is successful in your work and what is not?
Degree of self reflection
Think about three parts of exercise
Tell you about the type of rules you give yourself
Conversation from yourself
You can't escape yourself
Try this exercise with yourself or a group of people... We read our answers back to each other. It was interesting to hear about the decisions that my fellow grad mates were making. I learned a lot from hearing about their experiences as well. Each of our experiences were quite different... although I wonder what would have happened if we had three days to do this as opposed the three hours... good shit.
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